staying sane by saying no

Most of us are people pleasers and find it easier to say "OK, what time do you need me there?" or "no problem, I'll put that together for you", even if we have ten other things to do that day. Saying "Yes" to all requests can lead to Stress, responsibility overload, resentment, and fatigue. Saying "No" does not mean you are lazy or unhelpful or letting people down, it means that you are unwilling to make commitments that you do not have time for or cannot give your full attention to. You can say "NO" with a friendly smile and refuse to be drawn into a debate or discussion.

saying "no" to your kids

• Give a reason for the refusal - "it's too far to drive during rush hour"



• Acknowledge the child's feelings but remain firm - "I know you are disappointed...........", "I can tell you are angry.............."



• Give a conditional "yes" - "put it on your list for Santa/birthday"



• Suggest an acceptable alternative - "you may not stay out past 11p.m., but you can invite your friends to come to our house to watch the movie"



• Stick to the budget - "that's too expensive, let's look at this brand here"



• Encourage the child to save for the item - "If you really want it maybe you can save up your pocket money and pay the extra."

saying "no" to your friends

• Apologize for declining and explain your reason
• Overcommitted
• Time constraint
• Prior engagement



• Ask for time to think it over and agree only if you genuinely want to



• Offer to do a part of the project - "I can spare a couple of hours on Saturday afternoon, but I can't take charge of the project"

saying "no" to your co-workers, boss, or clients

• "NO" - with or without an explanation



• Partial refusal : "I will do part of it"



• Refer out: "I can give you the name of someone who can help you with that"



• Defer: "I can't do it now but I will get to it later"



• Coach: "I can show you how to do it"

Call your EAP at 1-888-600-4EAP for more information, help and support. Counselors are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week to provide confidential assistance at no cost to you.

Procrastination