empty nest syndrome - reality or myth

Empty Nest Syndrome is the term that is used to describe the feelings of sadness and loss that many parents experience when their children no longer live with them, or need day-to-day care.

At risk are

• Those who have difficulty with separation and change



• Full-time parents



• Those who are also struggling with menopause, retirement and/or aging parents



• Those who feel their child is not ready to leave home

Then, there are those parents for whom an empty nest is a time of increased satisfaction and improved relationships. They enjoy

• Greater freedom,



• A reconnection with their spouses and extended family



• More time to pursue their own goals and interests

Some coping strategies for those struggling with Empty Nest Syndrome

• Reward Yourself - you have done a good job raising a young adult who is independent, confident and capable enough to go out into the big wide world. Pat yourself on the back.



• Reclaim Your Identity - you are no longer just Jason's dad, or the homeroom mom or the boy's soccer coach, or the cafeteria mom. You can go back to hobbies like woodworking or restoring vintage cars that you could not spare time for before. You can pick up where you left off to become a full time mom or you can spread your wings and train to become whatever you want to be - a therapist, a writer or a business woman.



• Rekindle Your Romance - you have more privacy, fewer interruptions and more time to travel. Often couples rediscover what attracted them to each other in the first place and they start having a happier, more companionable and romantic time after the kids are gone.



• Do Not Cling - resist the temptation to call your young adult three times a day. Limit your calls to twice a week and send emails in-between (with no expectation of a reply). The more emotional and clingy you are the less likely they are to contact you.



• Think Positive - everything you did since the day this child was born was done to prepare him/her to leave home and become a successful adult. It's time to wish them well and send them on their way. Think of how much more distressed you would be if your child was not prepared to leave home.



• Get Help - talk to other parents in your position or those who have been through the experience in the recent past. It's comforting to know that you are not alone. If your sadness and crying lasts longer than a week or if you are so sad you don't want to mix with friends or go to work, you should consider calling the EAP or other resource.

Call your EAP at 1-888-600-4EAP for more information, help and support. Counselors are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week to provide confidential assistance at no cost to you.

Relieving Depression